so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize