Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
