Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
