it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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