He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
