You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
