Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize