i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
