How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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