On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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