I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
