i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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