So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
