Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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