I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
