This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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