somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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