Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
