I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
