If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
