Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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