Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
