Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
