never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize