The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
