I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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