How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Randomize
