I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
