you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
