i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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