Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
