I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Come see our sink grown plant.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
