i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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