I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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