the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
