He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
