TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
