note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
