i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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