he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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