I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
