Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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