Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
