I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
