I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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