did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
