HIV tests are more positive than that guy
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
