My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize