What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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