Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize