Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Do you remember whose house we're in?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
