Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You made out with two different species that night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
