He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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