It's Friday. Sex?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
