just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
be right there i have to get my cape
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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