You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
