so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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