i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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