the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
