I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
