i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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