Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize