Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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