i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
