the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize