im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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