Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
