And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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