that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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