Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
