On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
