have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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