I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
