idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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