He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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