just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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