8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
